where am i from again
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
