yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think i got beer on your cat.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
