Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
