I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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