i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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