Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
