u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
