so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
