none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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