Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
