nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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