so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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