I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
