you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
