I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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