...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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