we're blogging at a bar
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
