Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
