I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
