Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
