so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
