Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
