You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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