Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
