dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think my nap took me to another dimension
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
