She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
