Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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