He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
