That's intense
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
