evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
