So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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