well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
