the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
