I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
