My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
