Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
