Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
