Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there was a trapeze. enough said
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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