There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
