White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
