Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
