you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
