next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
