I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
