So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
