Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
