so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just threw up on my dentist
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
