Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
