Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
