I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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