I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
